MKMMA Weeks 9-12

OH DEAR ME!!!

Ok, so starting over again and again may not look very good, but after a long conversation with my wonderful guide, Lori, I realized it’s not what other people think that really matters here.  It’s what I think. I could go on and on with excuses as to why I haven’t posted, but I won’t.  I was busy, I had a vacation, and I procrastinated.  That about sums it up!

I hope whoever reads this gets the point here. I’m not giving up.  It’s not easy for me, in fact, I feel overwhelmed a lot.  But I know deep inside this is what I want.  This will work. I believe in this program,  I want to overcome the old blueprint, and I want to win.

I’m going to watch all the videos (once my account is reinstated – I just caught up with paying it forward!) and read as much as I have time for.  I’m going to do the exercises daily again, and make a movie poster.

I’d like to thank all those who have encouraged me, it really helps!

I’m going to do my best. I’m going to do my best to say “Do it Now”  and “I can be what I will to be” 25 times, at least 3 times a day.  I’m going to do my best to read every day from Og, and our lessons.

I’m going to do my best not to feel like a cheater when I say:

“I always keep my promises,” because I will do my very best to make the absolute most of this program for myself, and also to give back by encouraging others as much as I can, and  I’m not going to worry about the past any more.  That’s just SO yesterday!  🙂

Wishing much love and  Happy Holidays to all.

Week 8 – Starting Over – In More Ways Than One!

I know I’m in the right place now.  Before I ever watched the Week 7 Webinar Replay, I had been working on “forgiveness” all week!  I was having a tough week and memories of people who had hurt me kept coming into my head.  I knew it wasn’t good to dwell on, so I was doing my best to forgive them in my mind.  I did so even as it was happening, which was very difficult to do!  I can’t give details, but imagine you give someone a gift of lovely chocolate and then an acquaintance at the party immediately presents their own chocolate gift to that person,  loudly pointing out the fancy brand which is more expensive than the one you had bought them?  (ugh, sigh…)  But forgiving them was easier when I imagined the slight was borne out of their need for attention and appreciation, not aimed at me.  Which of course is more than likely the case!  They needed the limelight, so I decided to love them and let it be.

I thought I was a pretty positive person, and was literally blown away after hearing the webinar “7 Day Mental Diet” exercise. I’ve started over five times today already, and I forgot to start over a couple times too!

The 2nd way I’m starting over is with the exercises and projects such as the poster and press release.  I’ve fallen behind and have a lot of catching up to do.  Others may be ahead of me, but I will do my best and not worry about who is more advanced in the process – it wouldn’t do me any good anyway.  To fall back on an old saying “better late than never!”

On to the next week – Love to all!

Weeks 6 and 7 -What we “Feel” is what we Get

First,  I’d like to thank everyone for all the support – the posts, comments, sharing, and especially Lori for her true kindness and abundant encouragement in so many ways. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  I am truly blessed.

In week 5 I said I was feeling overwhelmed.  I think that feeling was at least partly responsible for bringing me more of the same, only worse.  I have had  an issue with my right shoulder and arm for over two months –  in almost constant pain and don’t know why – a pinched nerve, perhaps?  I got the flu in week 6 and was working 12 hour days.  I had to prepare a baby shower/brunch for my daughter in week 7 with over 30 guests coming to my home on Saturday, in addition to a speech about solar energy with a PowerPoint presentation on the Tuesday morning before.  A real estate agent had buyers coming to look at our house on Thursday, so I spent quite a bit of time cleaning up messes (including some that weren’t my own) and waiting around in my perfectly clean house to let people in who never showed up.  Then I was informed they would be here on Friday morning at 10.  Again, making sure everything was perfect and waiting until 10:30, I decided to go finish up some last minute shopping for baby shower and food items, which is a good thing because it turned out they canceled without bothering to let me know.  All of my projects for party favors, decorations, food prep,  lists, etc. etc. had been hastily put away and put off for nothing…need I go on?  Something had to give – and MKMMA, or ME, was what I  almost gave up on.

I did keep  MKMMA, my DMP, the readings from Og, and the lessons in my mind, even when I had no time to do all the readings or blogging and would fall into bed exhausted. Sometimes I would just read the first page or two and try to imagine the rest of the reading in my mind as I fell asleep.

I don’t want to let my Mastermind friends down, nor do I want to let myself down.  I  know that before I can help others, I need to help myself.  So I’m not going to let myself FEEL overwhelmed anymore.  I’m staying calm, putting my head down and working hard to catch up.  Years of procrastination  habits will be overcome.  But it will take some time.  Please know I’m committed to doing my best and have not forgotten you, and thank you again for your patience.

I really need this.  Even though my to-do list is a mile long I’m back, and will post again by Thursday.   ♥

“Almost” holding my grandson! My beautiful baby is having a baby – what could be sweeter?

Week 5 – A little Fun, A lot of Overwhelm…

I never realized until this week how long and how often I put off what I really want for what other people want, or I think I “should” do.  This week I find myself working very hard and still feeling like I can’t possibly get everything done!  You see, my house is on the market right now and there is so much pressure these days to make it look as “UN-lived-in” as possible,  The real estate gurus had advised us to remove all family pictures, half of our furniture and replace the floors downstairs. So we did.  And we thought it looked great. But in this  so-called “sellers market,” ours had been on MLS for two weeks with only two showings and no offers…OH NO!!!   So my daughter and I painted three rooms to make them look new again, and then I consulted with a top RE agent on what could be the reason for the lack of interest. “Price too high” was his first, last, and final word.  But how is that possible when the price compares favorably to other similar homes in the neighborhood?  Ahem, well he showed me the MLS pictures, and I had to agree (it just doesn’t seem nearly so bad in person!) . Apparently my new floor clashes with the color of the kitchen, there is STILL too much furniture in the living room, the faded red trim  on the outside of the house is too pink, Several rooms need to be re-painted a more “neutral” color, AND we had to lower the price by twenty-five thousand dollars…

So, what does all this have to do with my MKMMA experience?  Working 50+ hours a week and maintaining the house I could probably handle all the MKMMA stuff, but add painting, removing furniture, daily chores, etc etc. and I did a huge CRASH and BURN!

Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to continue.  I haven’t kept up all the reading, reciting and  I even waited until today to print out the workbook.  When I did the reading, my enthusiasm was really sub-par…and that’s the point.  The point where I just give up. Usually.

NO I say! No giving up! I’m telling myself I can still do it.  My watchman at the gate won’t give in to subby.  Subby thinks I’m a quitter.  But I’m not.  I can get right back up on that darn MKMMA horse and whip his butt until he behaves…or at least do my very best.  So I’m going to forgive myself for the past.  Nothing can change it.  I forgive myself, I love myself. I will celebrate Halloween just a little and not feel the least bit guilty about it. After that, I will do my best and I will succeed.

I do my best and I am successful.

I did my best and succeeded.

I feel like a cheerleader:  “GO SUBBY, GO!”

Goodnight my dear Masterminders, sleep well.

Week 4 – What do I really Want?

Mark J,  the “Mastermind” behind the MKMMA program, told us we needed to figure out what we really want.  I don’t know about the others in the program, but for me, this is the hardest part.  You see, I really want a LOT of things.  Some of which I didn’t really know I wanted, or had forgotten.  When I was a little girl, all I really wanted was a horse.  I also wanted to be an actress.  Do I still want those things?  Maybe…but to my current self, they are no longer a priority.  I do love horses, but my busy life would not allow time for one, and to be honest, I’m not even sure I would still want one.  It’s a time commitment, yes, but also I may be too old to really enjoy riding any more.  The last time I rode a horse, he tried to buck me off when I wouldn’t let him follow another horse back to the barn, and I fought it, but I was sore for over a week!

As far as being an actress, nah, that no longer holds the appeal it once did either.  But the one thing I’ve been saying for years I wanted to do is write a book.  I’ve heard it said that we all have “a book in us,”  and I believe it.  I’ve thought of several over the years I’d like to write.  So why haven’t I?  Indeed, that is the real question.  Self confidence, laziness, and lack of commitment come to mind as excuses, but the real reason is probably much more simple.  Habit.  I haven’t made it a habit to write daily.  So that’s the next step, fix the habit.  Fix all the bad habits.  Wait, not fix…replace them. I now replace my habit of playing “words with friends” two hours a day with at least one hour of writing, and add exercise and reading my purpose in life over and over until “subby” gets it.  That’s what I, myself, really want.  It’s not going to be easy – Darren said it well in his blog “Week #4 – Struggle is real” https://darrenmasterkey.wordpress.com/.  It will take constant reminders to subby that I need to stay positive, but like the book “The Greatest Salesman” says, “I (NOW) form good habits and become their slave.”  Goodnight all – time to read!

Week 3 – Defining my Purpose with honesty

     With the help of my dear guide, Lori, I realized this week I hadn’t been entirely honest with myself about my purpose in life, or my PPN’s (Personal Pivotal Needs).  I think many things are important, but are they something I really NEED from the core of my being?  I had to re-think my PPN’s this week, and came to the conclusion that Liberty is definitely one, and Legacy is important, but not as important as something else.  Something I really, really want and need, but was afraid to admit.  True Health, that’s what I want.  And that’s what I need.  For myself, yes, but also for others. I hope my Legacy will be in helping others find their way to Health, but first, I need to find my own way.

Life is truly and adventure, and with this Master Key program I hope to open up new pathways to achieving happiness and success, and learn how to be completely honest about what I truly want.  It’s not easy sometimes to admit something  if it doesn’t fit our ” ideal,” or what we think we should want.  Here’s to finding our rainbows!  Cheers.

Week 2 -DO IT NOW!

Hi there!   This thing we call “procrastination” has been a problem for me for a long time.  I think it’s firmly embedded in my “subby” (subconscious mind).    So it seems that no matter how good my intentions are, I still tend to put things off.  The webinar and the message for week 2 seemed to speak DIRECTLY to me….Keep at it, it will all be worth it, Do it now! Do it now! Do it now!  Ugh, really?  Do I have to?

Another member wrote about Self Sabotage.  I happened to click on her link in the blog role, and immediately thought – she is having the same problems as me!  After reading her blog, https://masterkeyjanapr.wordpress.com/2015/10/10/masterkey-week-2/,  of course I realized the main thing we had in common is that our subconscious mind keeps trying to DRAG us back to where we were when we started.

So it seems that our Great Leaders in this adventure , Mark J and the Fabulous Davene, have been around the block a few times.  They knew week 2 would be hard.  And they were right.  This week has been a real challenge for me. I am working, getting my house ready for sale, and making future plans for where I will live, etc.. and carrying my MKMMA materials around with me with the best of intentions to fit in the work…at least that’s what I’ve told myself.

The truth is that the old me was never very good at sticking to a schedule.  But I’m putting on new skin.  I did put off some of my work, I did play “words with friends” a bit, and I may have even accepted a lunch date with an old friend with the subconscious intention of putting off my work…but I really thought I could make up the time!!!   I even recorded myself reading Scroll 1 so I could listen to it while I did other things around the house (Hmmm, maybe I should record my DMP and the other readings too??!!)  But then I felt guilty for not sitting down and reading it silently as we were instructed.  After that I remembered…it’s really about developing good habits, and I’M the one I really have to be accountable to.  And so I will read silently at times.  But sometimes if listening is all I FEEL I have time for, it’s better than nothing.  I’m going to stop beating myself up.  The past is over.  Keep going, keep at it.  My subby  will bend, change, and accept its new assignment in time. In the meantime, I’m just going to keep repeating it  25X, twice (or more) each day:  Do it now! Do it now! Do it now!

Week 1 – A New Beginning with MKMMA

I love having fun.  I love having fun so much that I will commit to having fun before committing to doing my homework.  So why am I taking a “course” that requires me to commit to doing homework every day, not getting any course credit towards a degree, or guaranteeing me any financial rewards?  Let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger.  In fact, pretty soon (By early February of next year) I’m going to be a grandmother.  Yes, that’s right, my first grandson is scheduled to appear soon and no, I don’t mind a bit.  In fact, I’m really looking forward to hearing a little boy voice someday say “gamma!”

But I digress.  We were talking about taking a course, doing homework… well I have done a lot of things in my life.  Raised 3 kids, worked as a secretary, massage therapist, soccer mom, school volunteer, art docent, and most recently a sales person.  The most dreaded profession in the universe, some may say.  Just the word “salesperson” conjures up pictures in the minds of many of a slick-talking, loudly- dressed man selling used cars.  But truthfully, we all should learn at some point how to “sell” and here’s why:  EVERY time you get your way, it’s because you “SOLD”  someone on your idea, plan or whatever.  When you get your kids to cooperate at bedtime, you are “selling” the idea of going to bed.  When you convince your spouse to go with you to a concert, movie, or whatever, you have to “sell” him or her on the idea.  Sure, sometimes it’s really easy, but there are also the times when a lot of persuasion is required.  Well, I recently figured out I need some help in the persuasion department.  I love people, and as a result they love me (usually) – but unfortunately they don’t seem to be in any hurry to BUY from me.  I hear all the time “When we decide to buy, we’ll definitely call you.”  Boom, another sale lost to procrastination!

I know I have a lot to offer, whether in my current job or in some future job of my dreams.  But before I can do what I REALLY want to do, I need to figure this thing out, and that’s why I’m taking a class, doing my homework, and learning, step by step, how to really commit to my purpose in life and hopefully achieve it.  Cheers to all.