Mark J, the “Mastermind” behind the MKMMA program, told us we needed to figure out what we really want. I don’t know about the others in the program, but for me, this is the hardest part. You see, I really want a LOT of things. Some of which I didn’t really know I wanted, or had forgotten. When I was a little girl, all I really wanted was a horse. I also wanted to be an actress. Do I still want those things? Maybe…but to my current self, they are no longer a priority. I do love horses, but my busy life would not allow time for one, and to be honest, I’m not even sure I would still want one. It’s a time commitment, yes, but also I may be too old to really enjoy riding any more. The last time I rode a horse, he tried to buck me off when I wouldn’t let him follow another horse back to the barn, and I fought it, but I was sore for over a week!
As far as being an actress, nah, that no longer holds the appeal it once did either. But the one thing I’ve been saying for years I wanted to do is write a book. I’ve heard it said that we all have “a book in us,” and I believe it. I’ve thought of several over the years I’d like to write. So why haven’t I? Indeed, that is the real question. Self confidence, laziness, and lack of commitment come to mind as excuses, but the real reason is probably much more simple. Habit. I haven’t made it a habit to write daily. So that’s the next step, fix the habit. Fix all the bad habits. Wait, not fix…replace them. I now replace my habit of playing “words with friends” two hours a day with at least one hour of writing, and add exercise and reading my purpose in life over and over until “subby” gets it. That’s what I, myself, really want. It’s not going to be easy – Darren said it well in his blog “Week #4 – Struggle is real” https://darrenmasterkey.wordpress.com/. It will take constant reminders to subby that I need to stay positive, but like the book “The Greatest Salesman” says, “I (NOW) form good habits and become their slave.” Goodnight all – time to read!